A love letter to all the spreadsheets that lied to me.

I’ve been in the small-landlord trenches for a decade:
• Self-managed an apartment for 5 years
• Owned & self managed two duplexes for 5+ years
• Invested passively in a multifamily deal that casually returned 40% in 2.5 years while I did nothing. This has still been my best return in RE investing to date...more on this later.

Naturally, I did what any rational investor would do after accumlating some cash from my 9-5 and getting back 40% return in 2.5 years in a larger RE deal.

I bought a Class C duplex with more optimism than logic.
A year later, picked up a Class B one because why not? Long-term buy-and-hold, baby.

Then I moved to the U.S. in 2024 and had to hand everything to a property manager.

This is where things get fun. And by fun, I mean expensive.

MVP: The Real Blood-Suckers in Single-Family Real Estate

This is for investors who treat rentals like a business and have them professionally managed.

We’ve all built that beautiful spreadsheet:
“Look at me, I’m making hundreds in cash flow even in the worst-case scenario.”

Yeah… about that.

If you hold property long enough, you’ll meet the three killers that do not care about your Excel skills.

1. Maintenance

AKA: The universe reminding you who’s in charge.

Repeat after me: You need at least $20,000 in reserves.
Not “my credit card can cover it” reserves.
Actual, real, sitting-there-waiting-to-die money.

Because everything will break:

• Furnace (usually in winter)
• A/C (always in summer)
• Water heater
• Roof and gutters
• Basements (Canada’s favorite hobby)
• Pests
• Toilets
• Yard work
• Random electrical mysteries

Older homes? They age like milk.

There’s planned maintenance (cute).
And then there’s unplanned maintenance... the one that eats your cash flow alive.

2. Vacancy

Silent but deadly.

Your tenant will leave.
They’ll have kids. Change jobs. Buy a house. Decide they don't want someone stomping above them. Whatever.

And when they leave?

Getting a new tenant takes longer than the local vacancy rate wants you to believe.

If your city says vacancy is 2.4%, go ahead and triple it.
Reality is closer to 5–6%.

Vacancy comes with bonus costs too:

• Deep cleaning
• Repairs you didn’t know existed
• Touch-ups
• Showing the unit
• Screening applications
• More cleaning
• More “oh look, another thing broke”

3. Property Management

Where efficiency meets apathy.

PMs charge:

• 7–12% of rent
• Plus tenant placement fees (50–100% of one month’s rent)
• Plus cleaning fees
• Plus maintenance markups
• Plus miscellaneous “other” fees they reveal only after you sign

Their “marketing package” of services?
You’ll be shocked to learn they don’t actually do all of it.
You have to hold their feet to the fire, and even then you’re often dealing with a junior assistant who’s never seen your property.

PMs start off great when they have 10-20 doors.
Then they scale.
Then they lose intimacy with your property.
Then they outsource.
Then you basically have an Uber driver managing your house.

A personal favorite moment:
A basement leak quoted at $3K turned into $15K because I was remote and had to trust the PM’s “recommendation.”
Cute.

Also:
A “three-month vacancy” magically becomes four months once a PM is involved and you factor in their fill fee.

And here’s a fun fact:
When I self-managed, I never had a single late payment. Even with tenants I sourced remotely.
With PMs? Multiple late payments.
Apparently, spreadsheets don’t factor that one in.

The Turning Point

When I self-managed, everything cash-flowed and made sense.

Then I moved to the U.S. and switched to professional management and suddenly:

• Maintenance skyrocketed
• Vacancy dragged
• Tenant quality dropped
• Late payments appeared
• Care level plummeted
• Surprises multiplied
• Cash flow evaporated

MVP wasn’t just nibbling at the numbers it was absolutely drop-kicking them.

It got so bad that 50% of the reason I sold a property was purely to avoid future MVP damage and regain my mental capital.

The Checklist: For New Investors Who Don’t Want to Get Wrecked

A simple list you can ignore now and regret later.

1. Start with $20K in real reserves per property.

Not “emotional reserves.” Actual cash.

2. Multiply all maintenance projections by 2–3×.

Excel lies. Houses don’t.

3. Multiply vacancy assumptions by 2–3× too.

2.4% vacancy on paper? Cute. Try 6%.

4. Ask PMs what’s not included in their package.

Then ask again. And again.

5. Ask who actually manages your unit.

Is it the owner… or an outsourced assistant named Chad?

6. Compare your screening standards to theirs.

Spoiler: yours are probably higher.

7. Track late payments immediately.

If they start happening under a PM...big red flag.

8. Budget for a repair list every time a tenant moves out.

Even if the tenant was an angel who “took great care of the place.”

9. Add one full extra month of vacancy if you’re using a PM.

Because by the time they’re done, that’s what it costs.

10. If the deal only works in the spreadsheet, walk away.

Real life isn’t a spreadsheet.